My Ex is Threatening to Report Me for Buying Him a Gun

My Ex is Threatening to Report Me for Buying Him a Gun – What Happens Now

Your relationship ended badly. Now your ex is threatening to tell the police – or ATF – that you bought him a gun. Maybe he’s using it as leverage to get something from you. Maybe he just wants to hurt you. Either way, you’re suddenly realizing that what you thought was helping someone you loved might be a federal crime carrying up to 15 years in prison. And your ex knows it.

Welcome to Spodek Law Group. We created this page because this situation happens more than people realize. A relationship ends, emotions run high, and suddenly one person holds federal criminal charges over the other’s head. The fear you’re feeling right now is legitimate. Federal straw purchase charges destroy lives. But understanding exactly what you’re facing – and what your ex can and cannot do – changes everything.

Here’s the reality nobody explains until it’s too late. Whether your ex can actually hurt you depends entirely on what they’re demanding. If they want money or something of value in exchange for silence, that’s federal blackmail – and now they’ve committed a crime too. But if they simply report you without demanding anything, that’s completely legal, even if their motivation is pure revenge. The legal line between “threat” and “report” determines who ends up facing federal charges.

Understanding the Threat Your Ex is Making

Your ex is holding something over you. But what exactly can they do with it?

The ATF operates a tip line specifically for reports like this. Anyone can call anonymously and report suspected straw purchases. They don’t need evidence. They don’t need proof. They just need to make the call. And from that moment, an investigation can begin that takes months to develop before you ever know it exists.

Heres the paradox that changes everything about this situation. If your ex threatens to report you AND demands money or something valuable in exchange for staying quiet, that threat is federal blackmail under 18 U.S.C. § 873. Your ex just committed a federal crime. But if your ex threatens to report you and then simply does it – without demanding anything – thats completly legal. The motivation dosent matter. Revenge is not a crime. Reporting a crime is not a crime. The difference between “extortion” and “legal report” comes down to one thing: did they demand something of value to stay quiet?

This is critical to understand. Your ex’s threat only becomes illegal if theres a demand attached. “Pay me $5,000 or I’ll call ATF” = blackmail. “I’m calling ATF because you deserve it” = legal. The line between those two statements is the difference between your ex facing charges and your ex being a cooperating witness.

And heres the uncomfortable truth. Even if your ex IS committing blackmail, that dosent make the underlying crime go away. You still bought the gun. You still signed the form. The federal crime you committed exists independant of how it gets reported. Your ex’s blackmail might add another dimension to this situation, but it dosent erase what happened at the gun counter.

When Your Ex’s Threat Becomes Blackmail

Federal blackmail is defined in 18 U.S.C. § 873. The statute says: “Whoever, under a threat of informing, or as a consideration for not informing, against any violation of any law of the United States, demands or receives any money or other valuable thing” has committed a federal crime punishable by up to one year in prison.

Heres how this applies to your situation. If your ex says “give me $10,000 or I’ll report you to ATF,” thats blackmail. If your ex says “sign over the car or I’ll tell the police you bought me that gun,” thats blackmail. If your ex says “drop the custody fight or I’ll make sure you go to federal prison,” thats probly blackmail – because custody arrangements have tangible value.

But if your ex simply threatens to report you and then does it – no demands, no conditions, just anger and revenge – thats not blackmail under federal law. Your ex might be a terrible person. Your ex might be doing this purely to destroy your life. But reporting a crime isnt a crime, even when the motivation is spite.

The critical question is whether your ex demanded something in exchange for silence. If yes, document everything – texts, emails, voicemails, witnesses to conversations. That evidence might shift who faces federal charges.

Todd Spodek tells clients in this situation to preserve every communication. If your ex is demanding money or property or favorable treatment in a divorce or custody dispute, those demands need to be documented. Screenshot texts. Save voicemails. Write down dates and times of conversations. That documentation becomes evidence of blackmail – which changes the entire dynamic of this situation.

What Happens If Your Ex Actually Reports You

Lets say the threat isnt blackmail. Lets say your ex simply reports you to ATF. Heres what happens next.

ATF recieves the tip. An agent is assigned. The investigation begins – and you probly wont know about it for months. Federal firearms investigations typically take 3-18 months before agents ever make contact with the target. Your ex reported you six months ago, and youve been walking around with no idea that federal agents are building a case against you.

Heres the hidden connection most people miss. ATF recieves reports from angry exes constantly. Domestic disputes and relationship breakdowns fuel a significant portion of straw purchase investigations nationwide. Your situation isnt unusual. Its practically a category. And ATF takes these tips seriously becuase relationships that end badly often involve people who know exactly what crimes were committed.

The investigation unfolds like this. ATF pulls the records from the gun store were you made the purchase. They find your Form 4473 – the federal form were you answered “yes” to Question 21.a asking if you were the actual buyer. That answer was false. Thats already documented federal evidence.

Then they interview your ex. Your ex explains exactly what happened. How you went into the store. How they gave you money. How you handed over the gun afterward. Maybe they have text messages. Maybe they have Venmo records. Maybe they just tell the story convincingly. Either way, ATF now has testimony that your “yes” answer was a lie.

And heres the part that makes this particularly brutal. Your ex might be offered immunity or reduced charges in exchange for cooperating against you. If your ex was a prohibited person – convicted felon, domestic violence conviction, under indictment – they face charges too. But prosecutors routinely offer deals to the recipient in exchange for testimony against the straw purchaser. Your ex might walk away while you face 15 years.

Think about what this means practicaly. The person who pressured you to buy the gun. The person who gave you the money. The person who took possession of the firearm. That person sits across the table from federal prosecutors and tells them exactly what you did. They describe the conversation were you agreed to help. They show the text messages. They explain the handoff. And in exchange for making the governments case against you, they get a reduced sentence or no charges at all. Your ex becomes the reason you go to federal prison.

And heres another layer. Once your ex starts cooperating, theres no going back. You cant “work things out.” You cant reconcile. The federal investigation continues regardless of what happens in your relationship. Even if your ex has second thoughts and wants to recant, the statements they made are documented. The case file exists. ATF dosent close investigations becuase the witness changed their mind.

The Federal Charges You’re Facing

Straw purchasing is a federal crime under 18 U.S.C. § 932. The Bipartisan Safer Communities Act of 2022 increased penalties dramaticaly. Heres what your looking at.

Basic straw purchase: up to 15 years in federal prison and a $250,000 fine. If the firearm was used in a felony, terrorism, or drug trafficking crime, the penalty jumps to 25 years. And these arent theoretical. Federal prosecutors pursue these cases aggressivly.

Look at Ashley Dyrdahl from Minnesota. She bought five guns for her boyfriend, including two AR-15s. Her boyfriend used those guns to kill three first responders in Burnsville. Dyrdahl was sentenced to 45 months in federal prison. She didnt pull any triggers. She didnt know what he would do. But she bought the guns, she lied on the forms, and she went to prison.

Or consider Kristin Leigh Sweigard from Pennsylvania. She bought three guns for her boyfriend who had a prior conviction. She was sentenced to 6.5 to 13 years. Her boyfriend got 17 to 34 years – but she didnt escape. She just got less time.

The penalties for straw purchasing are severe whether or not the gun was ever used in a crime. Your false statement on Form 4473 is the federal offense. What happens with the gun afterward determines wheather you face 15 years or 25 years – but either way, your facing federal prison.

Why You Get Charged and Your Ex Might Not

Clients ask Todd Spodek this question constantly. Why am I the one facing charges? My ex is the one who wanted the gun. My ex is the one using this to hurt me. Why do I go to prison while they walk away?

Heres the uncomfortable inversion. You signed the federal form. Your ex didnt. You checked “yes” on Question 21.a. Your ex wasnt at the gun counter. The false statement that created the federal crime came from YOU, not them. That signature is your liability.

And it gets worse. If your ex was a prohibited person – convicted felon, domestic violence conviction, under a restraining order – they might face charges for illegal possession. But prosecutors have a choice to make. They can prosecute both of you and hope both cases stick. Or they can offer your ex a deal: testify against the straw purchaser, and we’ll reduce or drop your charges.

Prosecutors choose option two constantly. Your ex becomes a cooperating witness. Your ex gets immunity or a plea deal. And you face federal charges based substantially on your ex’s testimony. The person who wanted the gun, who may have pressured or manipulated you into buying it, becomes the governments star witness against you.

Heres the irony that destroys people. You bought the gun becuase you loved this person. You wanted to help. Maybe you were in an abusive relationship and feared what would happen if you refused. Maybe you genuinly didnt understand it was illegal. None of that changes the legal reality. You made the false statement. You created the federal evidence. And now your ex is using your “help” to send you to prison.

The Statute of Limitations Reality

Your ex has time. More time then you probly realize.

The federal statute of limitations for straw purchase is 5 years from the date of the purchase. That means if you bought that gun in 2021, your ex can report you anytime until 2026. They can hold this over you for years. They can wait until the timing hurts you most – during a custody battle, during a divorce, during a new relationship.

And heres another uncomfortable truth. Form 4473 is retained by the dealer for 20 years. If the gun store closes, those records go to ATF. The paper trail of your false statement exists for two decades. Your ex might not report you today. They might not report you next year. But the evidence sits in a file cabinet waiting for whenever they decide to make the call.

The 5-year window dosent start when your ex finds out. It dosent start when the relationship ends. It starts when you walked out of the gun store with that firearm. That clock has been running since the day of purchase, wheather your ex knew it was a crime or not.

Defenses That Might Apply

There are defenses to straw purchase charges. They dont make the situation good – but they might make it survivable.

If your ex COULD legally own the gun – no felony conviction, no domestic violence history, no disqualifying factors – then the only crime is the false statement on Form 4473. Thats still a federal offense, but it changes the severity. Your not enabling a prohibited person. Your not helping a felon obtain weapons. Your just someone who answered a form incorrectly.

If you were coerced or manipulated into making the purchase, that might be a mitigating factor. Abusive relationships produce many straw purchasers – women who feared what would happen if they refused, people who complied to avoid violence. That dosent erase the crime, but it matters at sentencing.

If your ex is making demands in exchange for silence, documenting that blackmail creates leverage. Federal prosecutors might view your ex differently when theres evidence they tried to extort you. It dosent eliminate your liability, but it complicates the narrative.

The gift exception exists – if you bought the gun with your own money, as a genuine gift, with no expectation of repayment. But your ex claiming you were paid, or showing evidence of payment, destroys that defense immediatly.

And heres the reality about building a defense when your ex is the primary witness. Everything you said to that person can be used. Text messages were you discussed the purchase. Conversations were you acknowledged knowing they couldnt buy the gun themselves. Admissions you made thinking you could trust them. All of it becomes evidence. The intimacy of your relationship means your ex knows things about this transaction that only the two of you know – and prosecutors will use every piece of it.

The defense strategy has to account for this. An attorney needs to examine wheather your ex has credibility issues – prior false accusations, criminal history, obvious motivation to harm you. An attorney needs to find inconsistencies in your ex’s story. An attorney needs to present your version of events in a way that creates reasonable doubt. None of this happens without preparation. None of this happens without understanding exactly what your ex is telling investigators.

Contact a Federal Defense Attorney Now

Maybe your ex just made the threat today. Maybe theyve been holding this over you for months. Maybe you dont know wheather they’ve already reported you. Whatever your situation, the path forward is the same.

Call Spodek Law Group at 212-300-5196 before you do anything else. Federal straw purchase charges are serious. The investigation that might already be running – without your knowledge – could be months old. You need an attorney who understands how these cases develop and how to protect you at every stage.

Heres what you need to understand about were you are right now. If your ex is demanding money or property in exchange for silence, document everything and call us immediatly. That changes this from a one-sided situation to one were your ex has legal exposure too. If your ex has simply threatened to report without demands, understand that you cant stop them – but you can prepare for what comes next.

Todd Spodek has defended clients facing federal firearms charges after relationship breakdowns. We understand the dynamics. We know how prosecutors use ex-partners as witnesses. We know how to challenge testimony from someone with obvious motivation to hurt you. And we know how to present defenses that protect your future even when the situation looks dire.

Call us at 212-300-5196. The consultation is free. The mistake of trying to handle this alone – or trying to “talk it out” with an ex whos already threatening federal charges – could cost you 15 years.

Your ex might have leverage. But understanding exactly what that leverage is – and isnt – changes everything. Call Spodek Law Group now. 212-300-5196. Let us help you navigate this before it spirals further.

The gun you bought for someone you loved is now being used against you. Your ex knows what you did. But knowing how to respond – what to document, what to avoid saying, how to protect yourself – makes the difference between surviving this situation and being destroyed by it. Spodek Law Group is here. Call us.

Relationships end every day. People get angry. People want revenge. But when your ex holds federal criminal charges over your head, the stakes are too high to navigate alone. The decisions you make right now – what you say, what you document, who you call – determine wheather you spend the next 15 years in federal prison or find a path through this. Call 212-300-5196. Let Spodek Law Group help you fight back.