It would be great, and in the interest of all concerns, if a calm and measured attitude and tone could be taken when it comes to dealing with children after a divorce. But this is rarely the case. As was so aptly described by the great writer Henry James in his turn of the 20th century novel What Maisie Knew, divorce can tends to lead to a fair bit of acrimony over parental visitation rights. It can turn people who in everyday life are the soul of courteous, generosity, and good will into the most belligerent and aggressive of characters. It is best not to let the bitterness and disappointment of a failed marriage interfere with doing what is best for children whom both you and your former spouse love and adore.
But human passions being what they are it is not always possible for such boundary walls to be established. You may need to take legal action to ensure that your right to visit your children is not infringed. New York State law is quite clear on this matter. If you are the non-custodial parent, you have a right to visit your children. The schedule for doing so is set up during the final divorce and custody arrangements are made. If your ex-spouse has taken action to deny you this basic right, then you must fight back.
If this is your situation
Stop reading. Start defending.
One of the most common reasons for a judge to refuse visitation rights to the non-custodial parent is evidence of mental instability, abuse, neglect, drug use, or alcohol addiction. It is not uncommon for the parent who has custody to claim that the non-custodial parent has fallen into one of these harmful habits as a means of revenging themselves on their former spouse. If you get even a hint that this is being done, then you should contact a child visitation lawyer straightaway and challenge the claims of your ex. Judges are very sensitive to this kind of thing. It is unwise to let a charge, however, spurious to linger without challenge. You may find that a judgment has been rendered against you based solely on anecdotal evidence.
There are other cases in which you will need the services of a child visitation lawyer. You may have been going through a hard time before, during, and after the divorce. You may have had your right to visitation withheld because you were addicted to drugs or involved in some other activity that a child should not be around. You are now clean and sober, and you have been living a good and stable life for some time. You want to get the visitation order modified so that you can visit your children.
Working with a lawyer who specializes in this area of family law can help you attain your goal. Judges, on the whole, lean toward allowing both parent access to their children. If you are able to demonstrate that you live in completely different circumstances, then you can get your visitation rights restored. It will take work, however, and a certain way of presenting the facts and making the argument to the judge. If you are up against a former spouse who opposes your request, then you will definitely need a lawyer who is able to fight your corner effectively.
Your children should not be made to suffer because you and your ex cannot get along. Do what is best for them by staying in their lives.